A Day Like Today

What can I write about being depressed?   Yesterday,  I slept about 12 hours.   Woke up and puttered around for a few hours,  then went back to bed and slept a second 12 hours.   I’ve heard that some people have dreams more interesting than their waking lives.   But I never remember my dreams and to me all that sleep is just a kind of lost time.    And even after sleeping 24 hours in the last 36,  I woke up feeling tired and am only barely keeping  my eyes open as I struggle to type this.      I watched the video above this afternoon.   I’m a huge fan of both Elton and Billy.   But honestly,  I’ve seen both of them give much better performances.   Especially the final track,  Piano Man seems to be in a bad key for Elton and he keeps singing falsetto and it sounds awful.   Then again,  when I’m in this sort of mood almost nothing is going to sound great.   Tomorrow evening,  about twenty-four hours from now,  I’m supposed to meet a new acquaintance for coffee.    And I find it hard to imagine having the energy to get dressed,  drive a short ways and do a coffee date.    It occurred to me today that in a way my bipolar disorder really parallels my spiritual faith.    As lousy as I feel today,  I know with great certainty that a day will soon come when I will be in an opposite frame of mind.   I’ll be cheerful and optimistic and energetic and these long dark tea times of the spirit will be forgotten. Just as,  even on the worst day,  I always remember that God loves me and will always put other precious people in my path to love and care for me.    Keeping that bit of perspective while waiting for the lethargy to pass  is about the best I can do on a day like today.

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By Libdrone Posted in Alan

One comment on “A Day Like Today

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