Sometimes A Fantasy…

“….sometimes a fantasy,  is all you need.”

I often say that I live so much of my life inside of my head.    I think I have a healthy respect and appreciation for fantasy.    Though some times you definitely need real life things too.     I went and got my insulin today.      I was thrilled that with my new insurance the co-pay was only three dollars and thirty cents.       Given that Walmart charges $120 (the cheapest regular retail price I know of) this alone makes the insurance a great value.    I will have to make an appointment and go back and see my doctor.    I am going to insist he refer me to a shrink to manage my psych meds.     I am a happy camper to be getting most of my meds at this point and look forward to having them all in the not too distant future.

I’m honestly not sure where I am at the moment on the manic-depressive scale.    I seem to have backed off the major mania and have been sleeping more or less regularly for several days now.  And I am definitely finding it difficult and a struggle to write much of anything at all.    I am doing some socializing and some game playing  (I continue to really enjoy The Sims on Facebook.      I was sad to find that my current lappy just isn’t up to playing the current version of The Sims 2  (the CD Rom game.)   But I haven’t been able to bring myself to touch the manuscript for the Missions Guide I have been planning to release on July 1st,  on the one year anniversary of the initial publication of Walking Down The Avenue.    And after putting up a web site and writing some introductory bally hoo,  I haven’t really worked on the pseudonymous project at all either.    (Sighs.)

I know that if I am going to have the new book ready for release July 1st I need to start writing it in earnest like yesterday.    Yet as I gain more experience with Empire Avenue missions each day,   I find my perspective shifting so rapidly that I’m honestly not sure what I am going to write.      I try to comfort myself with the thought that when I am quite certain what I want my guide to using Empire Avenue missions to say I will be able to knock it out in no time at all,  and aren’t I wise not to try to force a book that just isn’t there yet.     I find this small comfort compared to my serious writer friends (who aren’t collecting disability) who set themselves a budget of so many words or so many pages and force themselves to work at it each day until the day’s budget has been produced.    Writing on a drop dead line really is so much harder than writing when the inspiration strikes.


18 comments on “Sometimes A Fantasy…

    • Thomas, I think it is a good idea to go back and “recycle” the mission after some interval of time. If you recycle the mission before all of the rewards have been claimed you get a refund.

  1. It can be a vicious circle, if you can’t focus on the things you want to do, that perceived failure can make you feel worse.

  2. Fantasies have their own rules. Missions have necessary actions for a known award. Fantasies have their own rules. A mission may be likened to a quest individually or in episodes, and could also be intended to make someone’s desire come true. It might be interesting to run the book as a fantastic mission, or series, to provide an umbrella narrative having various types of characters, events, and emotions.

    • mmm. I don’t think rules apply to fantasies at all. imho, the absence of rules and the ability to make things as you wish the is the very essence of fantasy

  3. A regular activity would help. A fixed schedule would ease anxiety. That’s what I learned from my friends. Certainly, your doctor would have more insight. Keep running, or writing. I’m looking forward to read your new book.

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