When I think about it, I realize I’ve always been a sort of outlaw. I remember as a teenager in the early 1980’s learning about sodomy laws (boy that’s a term you don’t hear much anymore) and being outraged and horrified to discover that sex between consenting adults could be illegal. While I was certainly glad when the Supreme Court in 2003 struck down all of the remaining sodomy laws, including in my native Louisiana, I have to say that I never let the fact that it was illegal stop me from having sex in any way I preferred.
I’ve mentioned before that Ron and I don’t want to get married, even
if when gay marriage becomes legal here in Washingon state, either in June or after the November election if those who are opposed to my civil rights succeed in forcing a ballot question. I have not previously answered, when asked why we don’t want to get married. While I fully support marriage equality and would fight for the rights of any two consenting adults to enjoy the full benefits of marriage, the fact is that for over forty years now I’ve gotten accustomed to being a sexual outlaw. I’m glad I’m not illegal anymore but I have no desire whatsoever to participate in a social form which I do not believe would confer any real benefit upon me or my huzband, given our particular circumstances. (Ron and I are both on social security disability. Were we a heterosexual couple, we would be foolish to marry since doing so would significantly lower the amount we receive each month.) And I know in my heart that no piece of paper could make our relationship any stronger than it is. I also don’t believe we could possibly love or cherish each other any more than we do, regardless of whatever some politicians may think of us or our relationship.
I am grateful to live in an era when young queer folk (gay, lesbian, bi-sexual, trans-gender-ed) continuously hear the message “it gets better”. But frankly, having been an outlaw all my life. I have zero interest in joining the ranks of the respectably wed.