Some days, it seems, nothing goes my way. Both of the friends whom I’ve come to rely on for pointing out the best Empire Avenue newbies to invest in have had their chat privileges suspended by Facebook for a week or more. No one it seems visited my current blog post. (At any rate no one Liked it nor commented on it.) Only 7 of the 15 people I gave 1,000 eaves to this morning actually participated in my improvised #definethis contest. And I feel almost as though I have suddenly become invisible and quite lost the wide circle of friends I seemed to enjoy just yesterday.
This is one of the things I really hate about having bi-polar disorder. The way it has of making the bad days seem so much worse. There is of course a part of me that knows that the reason the blog post got ignored is both because I didn’t link anyone in it, didn’t give anyone a head’s up that they were linked in it and did absolutely nothing to promote it. I’ve long known of course that FaceBook really sucks and that someone complained and got my friends in hot water with them is so par for the course that it hardly rates being upset about. I also know that getting a near fifty percent completion rate on a mission is not half bad, particularly since the mission was an improvisation and an experiment rather than an attempt to run a tried and true plan. Yet knowing these things doesn’t make me feel any better.
Part of me wants to mark this posts and other posts I write when I’m down with a bi-polar or depressed tag, so as to warn everyone to stay away from me when I am so whiny and quick to complain. Yet part of me knows that it’s times like this when I need my true friends the most. I wrote yesterday that I can write a passable post, even when faced with a deadline. And I know I can even write through bi-polar disorder. Yet I strongly fear that no one will want to read it.