It’s funny the quotes that stick in your mind. I am going through a bad time the last few days. I am trying to figure out what lessons I should take away from my recent experiences. I wrote yesterday that sometimes lessons are hard. And it does seem to me that I keep having to learn the same lessons over and over. A friend commented to me “… if you have to learn the same lesson repeatedly, it’s not because it’s not getting through but because you’re not getting it quite right.”
Well that got me to thinking. The thing is I am pretty sure that the lesson I am supposed to be learning from this has something to do with the fact that when another person is upset, one really shouldn’t bait them. I think that I have in fact learned that anger is very destructive, mostly to the person who feels it. I hope I have learned that when someone is screaming and arguing with you, and you find that you can not calm them down with words, the best thing to do is to remove yourself from the conversation and if need be from the person who is so angry. And yet, say the wrong words to me and it’s like cayenne on the brain and I can scream and curse and rage with the best of them. Even though I really don’t want to.
I know that it was wrong to bait the acquaintance who was SCREAMING at me in a private chat. And yet I also know that I quite calmly did just that. I know that anger is destructive and an emotion best exercised rarely if at all. And yet as much as I intellectually understand this, there clearly are times when my emotions get the best of me and I say things as mean and hurtful as any I have ever heard. Part of me thinks that developing the emotional skills to react calmly to anger, and to see my fellow human beings as people who are struggling and not enemies to be vanquished is the real lesson I am supposed to take from this. But another part of me feels all but clueless as to how to do that.